March 6, 2007

• Japan Trip, Part 1
  
  Hi, I'm the bestfriend. You may remember me from such blogposts as Weekend at Jeannie's III or Birthday Bonanza: The Revenge.
  
  Kudos if anyone got that tip o' the hat to the Simpson's. That almost proves that you are old enough, but not too old, to read this blog. If anyone's been wondering what I've been doing since my last guest blogging stint, I've been wandering around as a free agent and Jeannie's contracted me to ghostwrite her blog again. Except I guess it's not technically ghostwriting since you know I'm writing it and it's not really as scary as it sounds, though the jokes may be frighteningly bad.
  
  Anyway, I was apparently in Japan for a week and Jeannie was all, "I don't need to bring out my camera!" Don't expect anything wildly hilarious- most of the trip I was trying to deal with the calluses that were growing on my calluses from walking so much, rather than take copious amounts of pictures. If you're really bored, later on this week you can click on the link to my page and see the pictures I took when she wasn't around, but for the most part see the same recycled jokes from this page during the evenings. My goal is to bring in the sophomoric flatulence jokes this blog has been sorely lacking. Not sure why she agreed to let me update again, but my guess is because I work for cheap.
  
  Oh yeah, and as a disclaimer, keep in mind some of this is a bit exaggerated or completely made up. Like how I'm her bestfriend, because I will probably be demoted to "acquaintance" after she sees this.
  

  
  
  
  
  
  My first night in Tokyo, we scoured the streets looking for a place to eat. Guest appearances by Tu's Live Crew and Margalatte!
  
  
  
  
  
  As we went looking for a place to satiate our hunger, apparently Jeannie had a different kind of appetite as she led us past rows and rows of the infamous "Hourly" hotels. The Japanese workers rubbed their eyes in disbelief as Jeannie passed by, seeing four dudes in tow. Us guys were all sorts of scared because we've all seen the movie Hostel* and were expecting a gruesome (but polite, because we're in Japan) end**.
  
  

  *I lied, no one in existence has actually seen this movie.
  **With sexy results!
  

  
  
  
  
  
  Margalatte in a desperate gambit for food begins to scrape away skin cells for sustenance, calling them similar in taste to the tempura flakes on rolls
  
  
  
  
  
  We finally end up at a Japanese version of a tapas bar/dimsum place.
  
  
  
  
  
  Margaret scours the english to japanese dictionary for a translation...
  
  
  
  
  
  ...for her craving for a gigantic rocky mountain oyster. Everyone is perplexed and disgusted.
  
  
  
  
  
  Up to no good.
  
  
  
  

  Enough with the stupid captions. On with the food. I still have no idea what I ate that night, but if Jeannie feels like it, she can come in and caption it all. All I know is that first dish right there was dang tasty:
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This, unfortunately, was bland tofu and rather untasty
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  This is a bed of nothingness, after everyone had eaten the skewers of meat off of it
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  Coming to Japan is worth it to use Jeannie's restroom. Every time you flush, the water comes through a faucet at the top of the toilet that you wash your hands in and the runoff fills the toilet tank. Jeannie has this cool add-on to the faucet that makes the penguin flap its wings as water goes through it.
  
  
  
  
  
  This is Jeannie's humble abode. The poor girl had to listen to my jetlagged snoring every single night I was there.
  
  
  
  
  
  This is Jeannie's elevator. It seriously only fits two people at a time. Or one American. Hi-oh! See where I went with that one? That's right, I am totally calling you fat, America. And I am totally sleeping on the couch tonight.
  
  
  
  
  
  Day Two in Tokyo, I rendezvoused with Jeannie and Tu's Live Crew in Shibuya.
  
  
  
  
  
  The making of the picture, with director's commentary.
  
  
  
  
  
  As you can tell, when you hang with Jeannie, you roll dudes deep. Which is truly saddening if you think maybe you will meet girls through her.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  We stopped off at Beard Papa before heading out for dinner that night
  
  
  
  
  Ummm...
  
  
  
  
  
  Errr...
  
  
  
  
  
  Okay, now you're starting to scare me, Jeannie.
  
  
  
  

  So after dinner, Jeannie says to me, she says, "Let's go visit some of my friends." I'm like, "Cool, cool", because Jeannie's friends have always been pretty cool, even if she rolls dudes deep. We start walking a while when I notice we're walking back to her place and I ask her, "Wait, so where do your friends live?" And she's all
  "ONETREE HILL!!!" And then she started cackling.
  
  
  
  

  
  

  
  

  Cackling kinda like this.
  

  
  

  
  
  
  
  

  So basically I came to Japan to watch Jeannie watch American tv shows. ((((((((((
  

  
  

  To be* continued...
  

  
  

  *or not to be, depending on whether or not Jeannie reads this and comes to her senses
  

  
  

  • 6:08 pm
  • 11 Comments